Everyone and their mother now has their own fragrance line, which is why it’s always a little shocking to realize a particular celebrity does not. After all, it’s about as common as the cold during winter and everyone gets it, right? Wrong; some of our favorite celebrities have their own fragrances (and many of their scents are actually quite nice) and others simply do not. We don’t know if perhaps they simply don’t want to bother branding themselves the same way that every other person in Hollywood has already done, or perhaps they simply do not smell good enough in real life to warrant a fragrance (though we would think that this would be a motivator; get this person who smells bad to create a fragrance and hopefully smell better?).
Regardless, we can think of at least 10 celeb fragrance lines the world really needs. We don’t like to think of ourselves as genius, but we think that these potential fragrance lines are kind of unforgettable.
Miley Cyrus “I don’t (T)werk for Disney Anymore”
Who doesn’t want to smell like a stripper in a club on a Friday night? I mean, that’s what we think when we see Miley Cyrus dancing, well, anywhere these days. She could brand it and sell it in clubs and anywhere that’s open past 3 am when the club goers of the world are headed home and looking for something to buy. If you think about it, it’s kind of a genius idea on her part. Do we get royalties for her strip club perfume and her love of announcing her dissociation from Disney?
Jessica Alba “Honestly”
We love Jessica Alba, but we also know that her company, “The Honest Company,” is under fire for so many things these days. A perfume line made from all natural ingredients and fragrances might be nice, especially if you call it Honestly. Now she can say that she’s not just being honest, she’s honestly being honest about her stuff.
Ellen DeGeneres “Winning”
She came out, her sitcom was cancelled and she was told she made the biggest mistake of her life. Now she’s the hottest talk show host around, and people love her. They love her more than just about anyone, especially considering how (De)generous she really is, and we like the idea of calling her personal fragrance Sweet Revenge. But only because “Haha, in your face,” isn’t so catchy.
Lindsay Lohan “Regret”
Need we elaborate on this one? Lindsay Lohan was the original mean girl, and we all loved her; and then she went off the deep end and forgot that just because she’s famous she doesn’t get to do things like forgo the law and the basic rules of the world. We imagine her fragrance would be called regret and it would smell a lot like success just out of reach.
Julianne Hough “Fresh Seacrest Breeze”
Because we love the fact that he dated one celebrity women in his life, even though so many people are convinced he might be gay; we thought we need a fragrance named after Ryan Seacrest designed by his ex. We love him no matter what, but this one was too good to pass up.
Gisele Bundchen “The Brady Bunch”
Who feels as if the famous Victoria’s Secret model smells like a cross between suntan oil, Victoria’s Secret and sweaty man? I feel as if this might be the way her life smells, and I have to say that I bet there are plenty of women in the world who would be happy to smell like her. So let’s market this and call it a day.
Emma Watson “Horcrux”
She’s young, she’s gorgeous and she’s managed to stay out of trouble and kind of out of the spotlight despite the fact she is the star of one of the most famous books and movie franchises in the world. We like the idea of calling her perfume Horcrux because, one, it rolls right off the tongue, and, two, because it’s fun.
The Jenner Sisters “Crisp Money”
They’re pretty, they have cameras that they can aim at themselves and they are Jenners. We’d love to see their fragrance called Crisp Money because we imagine that’s what these two super successful young women probably smell like in real life. They could market it together and give their mom plenty of opportunity to capitalize on their fame, since she’s got so much less experience doing that than she does capitalizing on the fame of her three older daughters. We like it when kids can give back to their parents.
Caitlyn Jenner “Kash”
She is the Olympic star formerly known as Bruce Jenner, and we think the world is desperately missing a fragrance that smells like her. We’d like for it to be a hint of masculine with a touch of feminine. Perhaps it would smell a little bit like Kris Jenner, but with a bit more of Kim Kardashian’s flavor added in, just so long as it’s still a little bit on the masculine side. We want this to be a fragrance worn by both men and women, because, well, it seems right.
Donald Trump “Deflection”
He’s one of the most talked about Republican presidential nominees at the moment, and we think that now would be the perfect time for him to announce his own fragrance. For one, no other president has ever had his own line of cologne. Secondly, he wants to make America great again, and we think it’s time for a new manly fragrance to hit the market. Let’s go ahead and add to that the fact that if he’s too busy touting his new fragrance, perhaps he has less time to make fun of women, talk about people not even related to his campaign (like that time he very randomly commented on the fact that supermodel Heidi Klum is no longer a 10) or focus on his hair. Actually, perhaps he needs to just go see the optometrist. Heidi Klum is a total 10.
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