Five Potential Titles for Jay Z’s New Album

Jay Z

I have two statements to make before I get into the fact that Jay Z is releasing a new album to tell “his side of the story,” in due time. The first is this; what the heck happened to Beyonce? It’s true that she’s not an artist I particularly care for, but I did enjoy her music in the past. Now she sounds like some sort of wannabe gangster rapper screaming profanities left and right in her songs and it’s so desperately unappealing and lacks the class she has become so famous for in the media. The second is this; do Jay Z and Beyonce communicate with one another? Ever?

These two have been married for some time now, and the press loves to discuss, dissect and look at their marriage from every which way as often as possible. We get it; we really do. They are a power couple with a combined net worth of more than $1 billion. They don’t do interviews. They don’t do press. They don’t discuss anything about their personal lives with the media or their fans, or anyone else for that matter. Are they really that private, or are they just geniuses when it comes to marketing their brand? The less you give, the more they want, right?

Personally, I feel that they are both just outstanding at what they do, and that’s providing just enough for their fans to salivate and want more, more, more. They spend so much time outside the press that when they do something – I believe on purpose, every single time – they become the most famous people in the world all over again. It’s brilliant marketing. That’s why the world is still salivating over the entire “Lemonade” debut.

Beyonce does not discuss her personal life with anyone, ever. So for her to put it down on paper and then sing about it on an album that basically tells the entire world that her husband is a cheating, lying, hurtful jerk just doesn’t sound like her to me. She’s not a woman scorned, people; she’s a genius. The fact that Jay Z is now making his own album to share his side of the story is just another play for these two to become even more famous, and to garner even more attention. And you cannot even be mad at them because it’s so darn genius. On that note, we have some suggestions for Jay Z when it comes to naming his new album. Since they’re either marketing geniuses or really bad communicators to the point that they have to share their story through music rather than an actual conversation, we thought we might lend a hand.

“Oh My God, Becky, Look at Her Butt – But Don’t Let Bey See or She’ll Sing about It”

Because, really. It’s genius.

“30 Minutes with Rachel”

Since fans couldn’t differentiate between the two Rachels; Ray and Roy. It’s funny and it makes us giggle.

“Bye Felicia. And Becky. And Rachel. And Rita…”

Need we say more?

“Life in A Bey Hive”

After all, we do wonder if he’s so famous because of her or if she’s so famous because of him.

“Making it Rain”

Now that every single person ever is buying their music to get what they are certain is a rare glimpse inside their very personal lives, that’s all they’re going to be doing for the rest of their lives. Making it rain those billions they’re making with this latest publicity stunt.

Photo by Getty Images

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