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Kristen Stewart and Her Poetry Debut in Marie Claire

"Camp X-Ray" Premiere - Arrivals - 2014 Sundance Film Festival

Man, that Kristen Stewart is one interesting girl, huh? Seems like there are only two camps in the world right now. People who love her and people who hate her. Well, good news to both camps. We are about to give you something that will make you feel double of what you already feel about her. If you love her, you are about to love her more. If you are not a fan, you are about to be even less of one. Introducing, Kristen Stewart and her poetry debut in Marie Claire.

So, long story short, Kristen Stewart decided to share some of her poetry that she wrote while being interviewed by Marie Claire. My job as the writer is to inform you of this in the least biased way possible. All I can confidently say is that it is, well, um, poetry. While it may sound like something a fourteen year old with a thesaurus would write, she seems proud of it.

Here is an excerpt from My Heart is a Wiffle Ball. No, we did not make the name up.

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man,
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

Read more here.

So what do we even say about that? I mean, really?? “ubiquitously crest fallen”? Well, that is, um, poetry. Definitely meets all the qualifications for poetry. Outside of that, I am not saying anything.

(Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for Sundance Film Festival)

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