10 Inevitable Truths About Courtney Stodden’s Pregnancy
There’s not much about Courtney Stodden the world loves. She’s a 21-year-old girl married to a man who is 58. She married actor Doug Hutchinson when she was only 16 with the consent of her parents, and the world began its creeped-out hateful obsession with her and her husband at that point. She’s been labeled a gold digger. He’s been labeled a creep, and her parents have been labeled just about every poor name imaginable for allowing their daughter of only 16 to marry a man who was in his early 50s at the time.
These two make it into the news more often than not for their age difference and the fact that she loves to go under the knife. She has had her breasts done, she already has an obsession with botox and she has more fillers and injections in her lips than most doctors keep in their office on a regular basis. She’s a mess. He’s a mess; their marriage is well-documented mess on national television through several reality shows. Now the news is even worse, and she’s pregnant.
It’s just not the news you want to hear from a couple like this one. There is no set of parents a child deserves to be stuck with worse than these two, barring actual criminals. The baby is a long way from being born, and we already feel bad for it. For the next 8 months, we can expect a lot from Courtney Stodden with her new pregnancy.
News that she always wanted a baby
It was a mere two months ago that Courtney Stodden decided to tell national media outlets that she is not ready for a baby. She was in the midst of an interview where she stated she doesn’t want kids right now, she’s not ready and that she cannot imagine having kids at such a young age. Now she’s pregnant and claiming to be only four weeks along.
A pregnancy blog
When you are 21, pregnant and you have nothing else to do with your life than discuss every last moment of it with the world, why not start a mommy blog? After all, don’t you want to take parenting advice from someone who was actually a baby not that long ago? She knows a lot about babies, you know. She was a baby bride, now she’s going to be a baby mama; she should write a blog.
Baby daddy drama
Is Courtney Stodden’s husband the father of this child? We’re going to say yes since we assume no man with any moral compass or a lack of desire to catch something contagious wouldn’t bother going near her with a 10-foot pole. However, we think these two will look for a little press and some more media attention with a little baby daddy drama. It’s just how they seem to roll.
Frequent interviews
If she cannot wait until she’s out of her first trimester at 12 weeks before she’s already talking about her pregnancy, we have no doubt that Courtney Stodden will be on the air, in the press and on the internet every moment of every single day talking about her pregnancy. We have a feeling that she is not going to let this go, or let the world forget she’s expecting. A baby is, after all, a great way to make more money.
Smaller shirts
Courtney Stodden in all her modest glory is probably super excited for maternity clothes. Just kidding. She’s going to wear the same tight, too-small clothes she already rocks and she’s going to make them into maternity clothes by just wearing them until they literally no longer fit around her actual body. We don’t think she’s above that. She loves her body.
Shorter skirts
In fact, I think she’ll just stick with the skirts she already wears and pay no attention to the fact that dresses get shorter as your belly gets bigger. I think she’s going to use this as a great excuse to show off her lady bits to the rest of the world as often as possible.
Twins
I have twins; they’re amazing. They’re two now, and they are just the sweetest little things. Of course, we also have two older kids so two more didn’t seem like big of a deal. For Courtney Stodden, though, twins would be hilarious. Just funny. Not for the babies, of course.
A video of the baby’s birth
From the view of the doctor. Who wants to bet she’s going to ask the doctor to wear a GoPro on his head and film the entire birth as the baby exits her body so that she can shop it around to television producers for a new reality show? We have no doubt this fame-hungry set of D-listers will do just that as quickly as they can. In fact, I bet they’re already doing it.
A reality show
Courtney Stodden and her husband look for any possible reason to do reality television. They’ll document their marriage, their life at home, their marital issues; anything that they think the people will watch, they will film. They want fame and attention and money more than anything in the world, and they will stop at nothing to get it. That’s why we think that they’re perfectly happy to go ahead and film their life expecting a baby so that someone might pick it up and make a show out of it.
Too much PDA
Forget that they were having marital issues and not even thinking that their marriage would work any longer. This is a couple that is so happy to be having a baby – once they get past the initial shock of having one – once they land a reality show that they’re going to pack on the PDA like no one’s business. It’s coming, people, and we know that it’s not going to be sweet kisses and hand holding. I’m willing to bet we end up seeing a video of how they made this baby at some point. God help us.
Photo by Getty Images
