Five Predictions About The Upcoming Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth Marriage

Mia Goth

While rumors have swirled more than once that Shia LaBeouf would pop the question to model Mia Goth it would appear that this rumor is in fact true.   While the pair have had a turbulent relationship over the past 4 years (I wonder why!), it looks like the pair are calling this relationship “forever,” at least for now.

Shia and Mia have been dating on and off for about four years, but after getting into a huge fight in Germany which ended up being filmed and put online, it seems the two are back on track. The pair first met on the set of their film Nymphomaniac: Vol II back in 2012, and were regularly seen showing off PDA around LA.

I guess the correct response to this would be “congratulations?” Although I have something a little better.   Here are five predictions about the couple’s upcoming marriage.

The wedding will be on an elevator on something like that

For those of you who saw Shia do this wacky art project where he stayed in an elevator for 24 hours (or was it 48?) you’ll know the guy is completely off his rocker.  This isn’t news but anyway, let’s get to the wedding.  Something tells me it’ll be in an insane place.  Like on an escalator or inside a an alligator swamp.  Anyone whose marrying Shia LaBeouf has to be close to as weird as him.

Mia Goth’s dress will be a garbage bag

Remember, Mia is in fashion so I have no doubt that whatever dress she wears to the wedding will be something completely off the wall.  I just can’t help think of the movie Zoolander and her coming out in that “Derelicte” costume.

The marriage lasts under 30 days

Come on folks.  This is Shia LaBeouf we’re talking about.  You don’t actually think this marriage is going to last do you?

A reality show following their marriage

OK let’s say a miracle happens and their marriage works.  There’s gotta be a network out there salivating at the possibility of a “Shia and Mia” series.  It’s inevitable.  Though knowing Shia, it would have to be on some artsy channel.

The guests of the wedding won’t be human

So instead of inviting people I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. LaBeouf ordered a bunch of trees to be painted like people and those trees would have places just like an audience.   Much easier to deal with than real people.

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